Did I dream a little too hard for you, did I
lie awake too long?
Did I kill all of those moments from a need to feel it strongly
Did I make a dozen castles from a grain of shifting sand
And did I use you in a way I'll never understand
Was that time for you so special, did it rank up there at all?
Or a last fling divergence on accelerating fall
Did I justify the emotion, did I try to write your lines?
Did I need to need you so much, at the time?
When I got the letter from her and knew that you had gone
Did I feel a rush of sorrow, did I feel a massive wrong?~
Did I want to feel so wretched so I could purge an aching soul?
Or was I pulling down the dam instead of mending the hole
Did I launch into bravado, did I go into my act
Did I prefer to play it my way and sign an unsealed pact
Did I cry as loud as anyone could and give it my best shot?
Did I do you any justice or did I not?
Sometimes things work out right and then things get in the way
But when you hold them to the light....
You 're with me still
But we were only friends
How people deal with the death of a loved one is often strange and varied. Having gone through the experience some time ago I finally got around to analysing my own behaviour and had to re-examine my motives and reaction.